- on Friday, 03 February 2017 08:00
- by Loron Hays
A girl watches a video. A girl receives a phone call. A girl answers. A girl is told of seven days to live. A girl investigates. A girl knows not why. A girl becomes a no one. Jaqen H'ghar, you are so right.
With no Naomi Watts and no David Dorfman to turn to, The Ring mythos attempts to soldier on into the digital age with its creepy crawling casualties. The very idea of a file-share that kills is a bit silly and this time out it can be on any device’s screen. Not even in the skies are you free from the ravages of Samara’s deadly curse. This doesn't make any scarier; it's just an inconveinance.
I have a feeling that Rings – a half-assed attempt by Paramount to get the 30-year-olds and some new blood out to the movies this weekend – is going to go the way of Blair Witch at the box office. There are few horror franchises that can reignite themselves after 15+ years of quiet. And one about a video clip that kills you in seven days is especially challenging if fumbled.
Written by David Loucka and Akiva Goldsman, Rings is poorly thrown pass. It occurs 13 years after the original attack by the wraith-like Samara Morgan (performed this time by contortionist Bonnie Morgan). The new entry in the crusty series is certainly not up to the highs of 2002’s remake. Nor is it capable of challenging the lows of the kicked around sequel. It just sucks.
The writers seem to have struck upon a good idea for the past happenings of Samara, but have “forced” characters a bit too much. Natural progression Rings is not. That’s to be expected, I suppose, when there is too much time between films.
A young woman named Julia (Italian actress Matilda Lutz) grows concerned about her urban legend-exploring boyfriend, Holt (Alex Roe). Her concern actually pulls us out of the movie instead of pulling us in. With little character development, Julia finds herself on the receiving end of a very dark video that – once watched – allows for merely seven more days to pass before you die. Hell, as if her relationship with Holt wasn’t strained enough, his blasted curse doesn’t help matters.
From the first two films, we know who does the killing. We just don't know why. Until now. With Johnny Galecki as a professor who tucks the couple under his arms for guidance, it’s not too long before we are diving deeper into the past. Ignoring the present, the writers want us to not check out before they get to their concept: a movie within a movie approach to Miss Morgan’s demise and the recording of the deadly clip.
The third film in the series is directed by F. Javier Gutiérrez and features only the tiniest of efforts to ground the deadly proceedings from Daredevil’s Vincent D’Onofrio, who plays a blind man guiding them through the mystery of the clip. Of course, you know what to expect.
Nothing Rings does is any better than its first gag-inducing 3 minute trailer and if you saw that, fortunately, you saw enough to not care about the rest. Save yourself and watch the fumbles in the Super Bowl instead.
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for violence/terror, thematic elements, some sexuality and brief drug material
Runtime: 102 mins
Director: F. Javier Gutiérrez
Writer: David Loucka, Jacob Estes
Cast: Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz, Alex Roe, Johnny Galecki
Tagline: Evil is reborn.
Memorable Movie Quote: "There's a mark on your hand. It says "rebirth"."
Theatrical Distributor: Paramount Pictures
Official Site: http://ringsmovie.tumblr.com/
Release Date: February 3, 2017
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date: No details available.
Synopsis: A new chapter in the beloved RING horror franchise. A young woman becomes worried about her boyfriend when he explores a dark subculture surrounding a mysterious videotape said to kill the watcher seven days after he has viewed it. She sacrifices herself to save her boyfriend and in doing so makes a horrifying discovery: there is a "movie within the movie" that no one has ever seen before...
No details available.